hi, i'm lauren, pronounced luh-ren, though you may know me by raymi or raymi the minx or something like that.
anyway.
i have not "blogged" in a long time and now, here i am, "blogging" and fiddling and tinkering and getting mad at my memory and inanimate objects and looking at old photos on ten trillion CD's and then i thought alright fine, i'll tell them how i invented karaoke, and no, not literally invented karaoke, because when i claim to have invented something, i say it in this voice i have, you know, anyway, i've been saying "i invented: < insert something i didn't invent here > " for awhile now, all over the place, in real life, email, to the cat, to the moon, cigarette packs, you get the idea.
jack falcon and i coined the term "i invented it" along with many other suppose to be funny terms, irrelevant i know, off-topic, no shit, important? Absolutely.
why and how come?
well my friends, everything that i tell you is important, because it is how i am, what i am, and, that i am.
ok so, karaoke, right, jack and i use to live together with our pals in Brooklyn and we were all, for the most part, pretty broke, and, if you were a person living in any borough of NYC from 2000 to now, you were/are broke too, and you were prolly called a hipster 'cos well, you are arty and poor so you wear garbage-clothes and you look really fucking cool and you have "massive sex appeal" and wear flip flops with corduroys and carry stacks of books around and smoke butts on the curb and the only reason you are cool is because you are not from new york city, you just live/d there because you can be away from all the retarded puckbags you grew up with...
jack and i had zero dollars and we fought a lot because we were starving and it was really hot that summer in nu yawk and i was pretending to intern at this magazine-thing and bartend their boozefests on Fridays and live off hardware store savings from Canada and jack was doin' art-installations, programming, whathaveyou, but what we really did was this totally frigginly awesome thing, the awesomest of all awesomes, something they all did, to forget about being poor and hot and hip unemployed drunk not in-shape or having long pretty girl hair...
and yes it was called karaoke, that awesome something, and it was/is the second-bestest thing next to grabbing a microphone up off the pukey floor and screaming into it with some faggot on the decks going i am amazing and soon i have to cart all the records in the entire universe across the city to another bar so another amazing screamer can go BLARGGGH RAGE BLAAAAAAAAWHHHH FREESTYLE RAWR!!! into a microphone and then everyone starts screaming and discussing the original rhymes or whatever, pfft.
oh right, freestyle, what a farce that crap truely is.
i mean, you come up with something amazing and beautiful, or aspire to anyhow, and then people hear it at the show-thing, that way, just the once, and they is never going to hear it that fuckin' cool ever again.
like a snowflake, NO freestyle jibberjabber dub-stylee garage rap bluesy fauxtown trip hop i don't give a shit, is, will, ever, be the same, ever, so deal with it, rapstar.
and ps garage music sucks.
moreover, karaoke is better by far because you have the words you have the little dance you do and you have lists of songs that you know, not only that, you go with your loser friends and you get to do all your inside joke over the mic banter and call them fat and they won't go choke choke eminem blargh 8 mile holy wow on you, they won't sit there shaking their head silently dissappointed that you did not or could not out 8 mile road the other guy because they are too busy laughing and crying and hugging everyone else and going that is my friend and he just sang that Neil Diamond song SO GOOD!
you know what i mean.
So we went to this spot near Union Square, Manhattan and did that a lot, we dragged friends there together as well as independently and had a lot of fun and i will never ever forget this one guy singing new york, new york around the room and it was the last time jack and i went there together before i went back to Canada and after 9/11 and everyone was united and it was bittersweet and we were poor and drunk and awfully sad and this guy was singing new york, new york and it was a beautiful moment.
so eventually, i was back in canada and jack stayed in brooklyn then went to the east coast where i met up with him for a bit and we karaoke'd over there awhile and all over in-between with a re-visit to the spot near Union Square in Manhattan during a visit around st.patrick's day and all this other stuff happened and so on then i moved back to canada when i turned 19, and lived in toronto for about a year and that, my friends, is somewhat, how this anthem begins.
anyway.
i have not "blogged" in a long time and now, here i am, "blogging" and fiddling and tinkering and getting mad at my memory and inanimate objects and looking at old photos on ten trillion CD's and then i thought alright fine, i'll tell them how i invented karaoke, and no, not literally invented karaoke, because when i claim to have invented something, i say it in this voice i have, you know, anyway, i've been saying "i invented: < insert something i didn't invent here > " for awhile now, all over the place, in real life, email, to the cat, to the moon, cigarette packs, you get the idea.
jack falcon and i coined the term "i invented it" along with many other suppose to be funny terms, irrelevant i know, off-topic, no shit, important? Absolutely.
why and how come?
well my friends, everything that i tell you is important, because it is how i am, what i am, and, that i am.
ok so, karaoke, right, jack and i use to live together with our pals in Brooklyn and we were all, for the most part, pretty broke, and, if you were a person living in any borough of NYC from 2000 to now, you were/are broke too, and you were prolly called a hipster 'cos well, you are arty and poor so you wear garbage-clothes and you look really fucking cool and you have "massive sex appeal" and wear flip flops with corduroys and carry stacks of books around and smoke butts on the curb and the only reason you are cool is because you are not from new york city, you just live/d there because you can be away from all the retarded puckbags you grew up with...
jack and i had zero dollars and we fought a lot because we were starving and it was really hot that summer in nu yawk and i was pretending to intern at this magazine-thing and bartend their boozefests on Fridays and live off hardware store savings from Canada and jack was doin' art-installations, programming, whathaveyou, but what we really did was this totally frigginly awesome thing, the awesomest of all awesomes, something they all did, to forget about being poor and hot and hip unemployed drunk not in-shape or having long pretty girl hair...
and yes it was called karaoke, that awesome something, and it was/is the second-bestest thing next to grabbing a microphone up off the pukey floor and screaming into it with some faggot on the decks going i am amazing and soon i have to cart all the records in the entire universe across the city to another bar so another amazing screamer can go BLARGGGH RAGE BLAAAAAAAAWHHHH FREESTYLE RAWR!!! into a microphone and then everyone starts screaming and discussing the original rhymes or whatever, pfft.
oh right, freestyle, what a farce that crap truely is.
i mean, you come up with something amazing and beautiful, or aspire to anyhow, and then people hear it at the show-thing, that way, just the once, and they is never going to hear it that fuckin' cool ever again.
like a snowflake, NO freestyle jibberjabber dub-stylee garage rap bluesy fauxtown trip hop i don't give a shit, is, will, ever, be the same, ever, so deal with it, rapstar.
and ps garage music sucks.
moreover, karaoke is better by far because you have the words you have the little dance you do and you have lists of songs that you know, not only that, you go with your loser friends and you get to do all your inside joke over the mic banter and call them fat and they won't go choke choke eminem blargh 8 mile holy wow on you, they won't sit there shaking their head silently dissappointed that you did not or could not out 8 mile road the other guy because they are too busy laughing and crying and hugging everyone else and going that is my friend and he just sang that Neil Diamond song SO GOOD!
you know what i mean.
So we went to this spot near Union Square, Manhattan and did that a lot, we dragged friends there together as well as independently and had a lot of fun and i will never ever forget this one guy singing new york, new york around the room and it was the last time jack and i went there together before i went back to Canada and after 9/11 and everyone was united and it was bittersweet and we were poor and drunk and awfully sad and this guy was singing new york, new york and it was a beautiful moment.
so eventually, i was back in canada and jack stayed in brooklyn then went to the east coast where i met up with him for a bit and we karaoke'd over there awhile and all over in-between with a re-visit to the spot near Union Square in Manhattan during a visit around st.patrick's day and all this other stuff happened and so on then i moved back to canada when i turned 19, and lived in toronto for about a year and that, my friends, is somewhat, how this anthem begins.
posted by Raymi Lauren @ 10:28 AM
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